Experience New York

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work.

We are the tour experts

Can't you people take the law into your own hands?

our guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

Hotels

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Learn More

Airports

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Learn More

Transportation

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Learn More

Restaurants

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Learn More
Explore New York

Tours

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Your Next Vacation

Contact Us Now

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

Contact Us